Residential Care

Hello dear readers, it is I once again lamenting the ravages of Alzheimer's.
Faye has deteriorated rather rapidly this past few months to the point where i was considering placement.
The reason I was thinking this is due to lack of mobility. She is babbling a lot and making some of the most interesting observations: bear in the Cypress Trees eating flowers, fire in the trees, wanting to know if I was married and if not would I marry her. Just little things like that. :)
But that is not the point of this writing:
Because she has trouble with mobility I feared it would be hard for me to help her and therefore cause her pain and discomfort. So my quest began:
All i can say is shame on the providers out there.
First let it be known for us money is not the issue, we have good insurance and can supplement without ever digging into the savings, the issue is the callous and down right disregard business has for our elderly.
I wont name specific places as they might get just a little litigious on me and i don't need those head aches.
I visited 5 places, all top of the line and what one might consider the Mercedes of rest homes.
Each time it is the same, they try to coddle you with "look how nice it is, look at what we provide, and it only costs this much."
Then you press them for facts as to cost:
on average they want $750 a month just to administer pain meds to Faye. So a cup of water and 2 pills is $25 each. (and you pay for the pills.
Now if she needs a shower,(which by the way i am gonna give her when done here) well that is an additional  fee which varied from institution but which also ran the base cost up.
Now TV and Telephone I can understand, no problem, some places want you to provide your own bed and linen, some do not, that will cost extra.
It gets much worse, after the initial assessment they will tell you it will cost you this much per month, then within a month or 2 they will tell you that they were wrong and it will cost more because she is more severe. Oh, and if you complain, it could go up as well.
One place even had bible study: OK, what do Jews do: stay by themselves in their room.

So I am just gonna keep her home until i collapse. I bought a Hoyer Lift and sling so that will help a lot.

So cowboy up there people, such is the lament of the cowboy from the left coast.

CRITICAL MASS

From the deck of the Starship Coventry: Star Date 06/17/2015


So much has happened since last we spoke. The euphoria I have experienced is tempered by the deteriorating condition of my Faye.
First the good news:
I recently signed my 7th, that's right 7th contract for my writing skills. Three are currently available while the other four are in editing with various release dates. My publishing company likes my work and has asked me to just keep sending the stories. Crimson Cloak Publishing.


I have also just recently wrapped a movie based on one of my short stories. I plan on entering it into as many film festivals as will take it. A real study in craftsmanship that was.
I secured a great director and we are polishing it as we speak. Still trying to find someone to write a score for it but one thing at a time.


Faye:
Sadly some things have happened in the last month that concerns me. Prior to that time we could still engage conversation, albeit nothing in depth nor exotic but at least talk. She also was awake more so then as now.
She sleeps most of the day and night and when she is awake the conversation is diminished.
"How long have we been married?"--45 years
"Where did we meet?"---Saddleback Inn
"I love you."---That is a frequent flyer.


Lately she has been waking up wanting to know if we are home from Vegas or when did we get home from Vegas.


We had to put her on Prozac to try and calm her nerves. She chews her fingers as a dog would a bone and denies she is doing it. "I am fixing my ......" she cant get the word cuticle out.


But she is my baby and I do what I can. I am usually up between 3 and 4 AM and take care of what needs to be done. I like the early morning, watching the sunrise. Summer Solstice is coming soon.


Oh, guess I should plug my Indiegogo fund raiser for the movie. Even though no one contributed and I absorbed all the cost of my film. It was well worth the effort and expense.
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-pony-no-one-could-ride#/story


Plus I now have the title of Director and Producer as well as Author after my name.
Now top that you thugs back home. LOL.


So form the deck of the Starship Coventry this is Capt Gary signing off.

Kizoa Video Maker: A Pony No-One Could Ride

Kizoa Video Maker: So You Want To Be A Marine

Starting The New Year

Star Date January 5th, 2015


It has been a while so thought an update was in order. for those who care. :).
I met the woman for whom this blog is devoted, 45 years ago this week. At a nice little place called the Saddleback Inn. In Santa Ana, California. (all is chronicled in my book by the way, See Amazon.com and my name) how was that for a cheap plug. LMAO.


Last year was a difficult time for me in respect to the stress involved in caring for a loved one. I reflected on the time we had acquired a nice condo on the beach in Costa Rica. We had lovely visits there. But something did not feel right so we sold it at, as it turns out, the right time as Faye was slowly slipping away from us.


Now we dream of headier things, like what shall I fix her for dinner, and is there another re-run of Funniest Home Videos we can watch, as it is impossible for her to follow any kind of plot.
I count the days until spring training so she can again watch her favorite sport, baseball, for an inning or two, constantly asking me what is happening. sigh. But it entertains her for the time period.


When she eats I now have to watch her very closely as she has difficulty swallowing. This last week alone she has been choking 5 times to the point where I must pound on her back to dislodge the food. She is not blocking her airway, but rather getting food caught in the esophagus where it blocks even liquids. I have been mashing up her food as small as possible. Then I postpone my eating until she is finished just to be safe.


The holidays went as expected. Family over, house full of 20 people and Faye not remembering one iota of who, what, when, etc. but at least we were all together.


He knees have deteriorated to the point she is now on 6 pain pills a day just to be able to move. And here lays the irony: at 82 the only meds she takes is the pain pills, while I at 66 (yes new reader she is 16 years my senior) take 6 different pills just to stay alive. On the humanity. :)


I did my self a favor and bought a new horse to ride, acquired a health provider to watch Faye for me and now will be able to get away, at least 2 days a week, which anyone who has cared for a loved one can tell you, the break is desperately needed.
As fate would have it I ran into my old secretary from my shoeing days (farrier) and she offered to board the horse for me just for the cost of the feed. Karma at work.


So from the deck of the Star Ship Coventry: Captain Gary signing off.

Season's Greatings

Star Date December 18th, 2014


It has been some time since I felt to put into words the latest with my lovely wife, so here it is.
She is steadily slipping into that zone of non-remembrance of those around her. Her recognition of family is thinning now, loosing the grand kids seems to be the first step.


Her concept of time is non-existent as is her recollection of visitors. Kids come and spend the day and 5 minutes after they leaves she is complaining about never seeing or hearing from them.


A conversation with her sister becomes a comedy act. The sis is 89, Faye 82 both with dementia and the dialog is something like Abbott and Costello's famous, "Who's on First." I have to laugh, else I would loose it.


I was told to watch her carefully as Alzheimer's patients tend to get into stuff, well it almost happened. She picked up a bottle of bowl cleaner and asked me if it was skin lotion. All lethal chemicals are now in childproof cabinets.


She remembers we have always gone to Vegas this time of year and asks if we will be going. The journey itself is worthy of it's own blog so suffice it to say, not going to happen. I simply tell here we just got back and she is happy.


Everyday she asks me how many years we have been married, 44 I tell her and she says that is a lifetime.  She wants to know how and where we met, but I am always great full she still remembers me. That is a milestone I don't want to ever meet.


There are a few people wanting me to find a home for her but it ain't gonna happen as long as I can do what is necessary.


I bought a horse to ride to help me with stress reduction and I think I finally found the perfect house keeper to help with Faye while I am away. We shall see if she comes back from the PI. Her family's home was destroyed by the Typhoon that went through a few weeks ago. She said she is ok and will be back next year.


Well, I have already finished my morning exercise routine so guess I better get that first cup of coffee and see what the day brings: the rain is gone and the warm up is coming.


From the Deck of the Star Ship Coventry, Captain Winstead signing off:

Vegas Lost

Connie, our daughter, Faye and I pack it up and head to our favorite spot. Las Vegas.
The trip is usually 4 hours or less but with Faye we stop often and 5 1/2 hours later we check in at Caesar's Palace. The room is spacious and handicapped equipped.
Faye is tired and cranky so we put her down for a nap.

We just relax and enjoy the ambiance. Faye knows not of what we do. She loves to play the video porker but her memory is so gone now, Connie and I stay with her to allow for her to pick the right cards. But she has fun and we play for a little while.
She is tired now so off to the room.

Three days late and time to go home. It has been the most difficult of all trips. This will be our last, Connie and I decide. Faye is no longer cognizant of her surroundings and as we travel for home she isn't sure if we are coming or going. Once home and for he next fee days she awakes and asks where we are.

So now we will stay at home, except for needed trips for doctor's appt. no need to further stress her. Her knees are so bad she is now on 3 Norco a day and that only helps marginally. But I do not wish to addict her so I provide aspirin as a supplemental.

TV shows mean nothing to her now. She follows no plot, has no comprehension.
The good news is she still remembers me. And she remembers her children. Not doing so well on the grandkids at this point.

And life goes on.

Las Vegas

So much has happened since our last visit to Vegas I thought it was time to pack up and go. I invited our daughter Connie to go to aide me in anticipation of anything that might prove  problem and off we went.
The drive is about 4 hours and took just over 5 as it is necessary to stop every 1 and 1/2 hours for Faye.
We arrive without incident and have a few hours to rest before the rodeo, so far so good.
The exciting thing about going to this rodeo is that the owner of the rodeo company is Cotton Rosser, Flying U, has agreed to name a bucking bronc after my wife. It is a heady time as we make our way out of the parking lot and to the area.

Helldorado Days are held in a dirt lot, one half mile from Fremont street.
We park and I push the wheelchair across a paved parking lot to the edge of the rodeo/fair grounds where we are met by a cow selling milk products. Faye is elated and we take a picture with the cow.

As you can see the grounds are rough and hard to push the chair but we move, undaunted, forward.
In the stands I can see Faye is getting tired. It is 8 PM and the temperature is still 95 degrees with a stiff wind blowing from our backs. She has been up since 8 and has not had a nap today.
We have great seats right next to the roping chutes and settle in.

After the grand entrance the bareback broncs are ready to go.   
Faye is nodding as the announcer says "now over at the Preifert chute we have Faye's Revenge". Faye's head goes up and a big smile crosses her face. In the next few seconds the announcer again say's "Faye's Revenge coming out of chute number 3" and this time Faye sits up tall in her wheelchair and she says, "That's my name." We watch as the cowboy scores a 75 on the big mare even though we were hoping he would eat dirt. :)
I then tell her Cotton had named the horse for her, she smiles and settles back and for the rest of the rodeo she just sits and watches quietly.
The rodeo ends with a flourish and Cotton comes over to say hello. He has owned the Flying U since 1955 having bought it after a farm accident cute his rodeo career short with 2 broken legs.

  
The rodeo over we head back to the hotel and try to settle in for the night. 1 AM finds us fighting with Faye to get her to bed.
All is well and sleep comes easily.

Later that morning is a different story. Faye is argumentative and combative at the same time. She tells me I am lazy and worthless and to get her more coffee. Now all that is not new and I do as she asks.
Connie is now with us and Faye wants to know why Teri is here. We explain to her that it is Connie not Teri but Faye doesn't get it and wants to know why Teri has let her self get so Fat.
eventually Connie leaves in tears, I suck it up and the day becomes night.

We are home now, and Faye remembers none of it. But I could tell, for that brief few seconds in the arena when she heard her name, that she had a good time.

And life goes on.




























 

The Latest and not so Greatest

Star Date: April 7th, 2014

Hello fellow readers and loyal followers, thought I should bring an update on the situation in the Winstead household.

Since last we spoke the wife has slipped a great deal. One morning she may awaken and ask where she left her knitting, (she doesn't knit) or state that today she is going to the beach. (uh, we don't do beach).

I was helping her dress to do to the doctors, left the room and upon my return she shouted triumphantly, "look, I was able to put my own socks on." Well I smiled and acknowledged same but the truth is I had put her socks on before leaving the room.

Her hearing loss doubled overnight. I took her to an audiologist and was told her ears are full of wax so today we go to the Doc to have same removed. Maybe. And hopefully that will help with the hearing loss as she lost her aides and we need to buy new one. $2000 at Costco.

No TV experience for her, except short vignettes. AFV, Caught on Camera, things like that. She can't follow or remember a plot. Hell, in the finals of AFV she cant remember from the one minute before who did what to win the $10,000.

Talked to the social worker last week. Her mother suffered for 15 years. They were able to keep her at home the whole time which prolonged her life considerably.

And then there is me. Trying my best, doing what I can. 44 years and counting.

I think I will plant some lemon and lime trees in the back.
Oh, yes and paid my taxes today, ugly. has to send Uncle Sam and additional $8000.


From the deck of the Starship Coventry, this is Captain Gary signing off.




















 

UPdate

Star Date 3/12/14

The good news is there is nothing of consequence to report. Faye seems to have settled into a null period where nothing has been bothering her.
I solved the cracks in the floor problem with a rug and the pillow problem is on going so that is not going to change, I just go with the flow.
She just came off a weekend of extreme illness, making me somewhat nervous, but she is on the mend and back to her ole' cranky self :).

She perseverates on the fact no one calls or comes by to visit, even though the kids do call and visit. So each visit or call is a new experience for her.
We have puzzles recommended by the Alzheimer's Ass. that challenge her to think, which works for about 10 minutes.

I notice when we are watching the telly she just drifts off into where ever she lives now. Occasionally asking what is happening. Thank goodness for the pause on the remote so I can catch her up.
Baseball season has been a blessing. As I have stated before, she loves her BB, although she remembers almost nothing of how it is played, the action (yes, I know, action in BB), keeps her stimulated for about 4 innings. LOL.

What I don't understand is here ability to talk. basically non-stop. This is a good thing because many loose the ability, but sometimes it can be too much. But then again she spent 35 years as a Speech and Language Pathologist so there must be some carry over.
And I would much rather have her talking to me than not.

So not much has changed. We talk, we watch. She wants to go to Las Vegas and I tell her OK.

As the sun comes up I think about what today brings. While she is sleeping I must slip off to the market for needed supplies.
The Santa Ana Winds are starting to howl and the heat is fast approaching. The rest of the week will be gorgeous by California standards.

And My Beauty sleeps.

From the deck of the Starship Coventry this is Capt. Winstead signing off.